Well written. I didn't want to stop reading it ,kept me on the edge of my seat wanting to find out what happened I was hanging on every word. It painted a picture in my head. I haven't read anything really like this before. You used good techniques through out it. I like the way you added in the wee poem/song. It had a big impact on me. All in all lovely story, heart wrenching a bit like an emotional roller-coaster some bits are really sweet and kind other bits are hair ripping sad. Will leave everyone with a tear in there eye.
-Bows- Sorry for the long wait on a reply to this. Thank you so much for your Constructive Criticism.
I'm really glad to hear you like it, I write because it makes me happy and I enjoy it. However, I put them up here to inspire others and allow them to enjoy a store outside the box with their favorite characters.
I've been writing stories and poem since I have been little and Role-playing on Myspace back in the day as well as being in drama helped with what you see now. You can take from lots of things in your life and apple them to your works. I used Avril's song's and just added more and changed it up to fit the story, it's just there to really shorten and summaries Iruka's as well as Kakashi's feelings.